Monday, December 17, 2007

Duck ponders... with a narrative

Lucifer and Gabriel

Gabriel was a learned man. He knew all that there was to know about everything and everything. He did not advertise this, but some thought he did.

One of those persons was Lucifer. Lucifer had always been a bright lad, but often acted first and thought later. So it was with this attitude that Lucifer approached Gabriel, intending to prove that this golden boy was nothing but a pompous, opulent rich kid with nothing better to do than to strut about pretending like he was the bee’s knees.

So, Lucifer approached Gabriel at a park bench, in the middle of a shady square downtown, and asked him his questions.

“Tell me, Gabriel, you are wise, are you not?” said Lucifer.

“Some consider me wise.” said Gabriel.

“Then, if you are so wise,” said Lucifer, “Tell me about the nature of truth?”

“You ask a difficult question.” Replied Gabriel. “Please, take a seat.”

Lucifer took a seat on an adjoining park bench, and listened carefully to what kind of hogwash response he would get out of Gabriel.

“Truth, is something that is hard to find.” He began. “Some search for it their entire lives, and are never able to find it. Some believe that they have found it, and some know that they have not yet found it. They, and all other people, struggle to turn what they experience into what they believe, and then what they believe into truth. Therefore, to find truth, one must experience life, and then think about what it makes them believe, and finally take what they believe to search for their personal truth. Some do this through religion, like Buddhism or Christianity, and some through travelling or writing of poetry, or other pursuits that engage our souls. There is a method for every single person.”

Lucifer, slightly impressed, continued, “How do I find my method?”

Gabriel replied, “That is up to you. No one can tell you how to find your truth. They can tell you how they found theirs, and then you can think about what that makes you believe, and be inspired to find your path, but no one can find it for you. That is the failure of many religions, which is what makes them imperfect. They assume that there is a universal path, a divine way which all of mankind should follow. This is not the case. Just as I wear an undershirt and jeans, and you wear your jeans with a red shirt, tie, black jacket and black coat, your method will be different from mine.”

Searching far a last stab at duping him, Lucifer asked, “What is truth?”

Gabriel sat for a moment, and thought for a long time. Lucifer took off his coat, which shimmered as he placed it on the bench beside him. Dawn was on its way, the sky was beginning to light up.

Gabriel then replied. “Truth is constant. It is always there. It never changes, never wavers, and never falters. Do we know anything that is like this? Only two: The only constant in the universe is change. Two: The way in which each of us adapts differently to those changes. So really, everything is different because everything is always changing.”

Seeing that this line of questioning had come to an end, Lucifer switched topics. He asked another question.

“What is the soul?” He asked.

Gabriel quickly replied this time. “Think of the soul like a new computer that you buy. The computer comes with preset specifications and abilities, as determined by the manufacturer. The computer is made unique by its user, what software the user installs, what hardware the user adds, and what the computer is used for. Our souls are exactly like computers. We come with a previously set up configuration that helps determines who we are to begin with, but then we can grow and evolve as a result of how we are changed.”

Lucifer noticed the sun rising, and took off his black jacket, and took a moment to bask in the fresh rays that heralded spring’s arrival. He was satisfied with Gabriel’s answer, but still had his doubts. He chose his next question carefully.

“What is morality?” Asked Lucifer.

Gabriel closed his eyes, his face drinking in the warm sun beams that lit up his face. He smiled, and then replied after careful thought.

“Nothing is right or wrong.” Said Gabriel, “Why? Because right and wrong are universal truths. And as we discussed earlier, the only universal truth is that universal truths are always changing. Certainly, there are many things that many people believe to be wrong and right, but there will always be one person who believes differently, because everyone is different from each other. Even if these people turn these beliefs into their truth, which does not make it apply to everyone. In short, morality is a false truth created by humans to make us all the same.”

Again impressed, Lucifer sat a while, trying to think of another question. He undid his tie and set it on the bench beside him, and then un-tucked his shirt. The sun was getting hot overhead, and he asked another question to Gabriel.

“How should we treat other people then, if there is no such thing as morality?” Lucifer asked.

“Because everything is always changing,” said Gabriel in reply, “We should continue changing just as much. We should share our knowledge with others. We should experience as much as we can, think about it, and form as many beliefs as we can. We should let ourselves be different. We should live in inharmonious harmony with others until the day we die. We should cherish every change that comes our way, because that is the constant of the universe, the one thing that we can rely upon.”

Comfortably warm in the heat of the sun, Lucifer removed his red shirt to reveal an undershirt not at all unlike that of Gabriel’s underneath. He felt content, at peace, almost. He had one more question.

“In a word, how would you describe life?”

Gabriel pondered this for a long time. He sat on his bench, left arm on one leg, supporting his head, and right arm dangling down towards the ground. He shifted positions, to his back, to his side, standing, squatting, stretching, walking, running, all while pondering. The sun was beginning to set, and Lucifer sat like a statue, intently gazing at Gabriel and following his every move, knowing that his next words would be profound.

Then, Gabriel spoke.

“In life, there are many opposites. There is birth, and death. There are boys and girls. There is heaven and earth. There hard things, and soft things. Black things, white things. All in equal measure. Life is where they all combine, swirl into a mixture of emotion and experience.”

He stopped. Then, looking at Lucifer, his grey eyes staring into the ice blue of Lucifer’s, he said a single word:


The sun cast its golden rays onto the pair on the pair of benches. From a distance, they both looked the same.

World Peace


Friday, November 30, 2007

Duck ponders... poetically


By Jordan Ray

I look into the computer screen

I see


They stare back at me

And ask, what are you afraid of?

I don’t know

Or, rather, I’m afraid of what I don’t know

I’m afraid of the future

What I might do

What I might become

What I might be able to be

Because I have the drive, the will, the passion the determination and the brains to do whatever I want.

And I know what I want.

Or do I?

Do I really know what I want?

Can you ever really know what you want?

I think I want to be Prime Minister

No, that’s reaching too far, I’ll just settle for being a politician.

No, that’s still too far, what if I don’t make it and I get hurt?

Maybe I’ll just settle for being a judge.

No, that’s kind of a lot of responsibility and what do I know about right and wrong?

I could try to be a lawyer

I could spend 8 years of my life going to school just to eventually become one of those corrupt people that I always hear everyone slander and heap hate upon.

I could become a teacher

And be responsible for the education of thirty kids in a classroom, and dealing with their angry parents.

I could become a retail salesmen

Always pressured by my boss to do better, to work more hours, to know about our product, to stop watching the damn T.V. and get back to making the shelves look nice.

Or I could be a teacher

And be part of hundreds of kids lives, moulding them and shaping them to be whatever the want to be.

Or I could be a lawyer

Fighting in the legal system for people who’ve seen better days and standing up for what I believe in.

Or I could be a judge

Dispensing justice and fairness like no one else can because I know what I believe is right.

Or I could be a politician

Fighting the big fight, representing those who have no one else, and being a part of the change I want to see in the world.

Or I could be Prime Minister

And shape an entire country with my vision to make the world a better place.

But, to you pixels

That’s what I’m afraid of.

I don’t know what I want to be.

But I know that I can be anything.

And you have no idea how scary that is.

World Peace

Monday, November 5, 2007

1000 Birds

Okay, well, maybe not 1000, but still, it's a lot of birds. Oh, by the way, I'm posting only this because I'm too lazy to post anything else, and it is past midnight on a school day, so.... yeah. This is all you get. SORRY!

World Peace

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Duck ponders...

What People Did Back When There Were no Video Games

Well, I could say that people watched T.V., but that would be cheating. Come on, pull up a lily pad, have a listen. True, they're not exactly sturdy, but you get used to the cold pond water at this time of year. Especially if you weigh over one kilo.

Before people had video games. Life must have sucked. I mean, if you think about it, when they didn't have video games, instead of killing aliens or monsters they'd kill each other. How barbaric. How did people live? Wait, I guess they didn't.... Okay, seriously though. We use T.V., Video Games, and reading for fun to fill up our spare time. So, what did people do to fill up their spare time back in the good ol' days? No, silly toad, besides kill each other.

Well, Video Games are past-times, right? And past-times are kind of like hobbies, right? I could say that playing the computer is one of my hobbies. Of course, hobby is much broader than that. People have lots of different hobbies, even today. Like artisans and painters, or hikers and surfers. Those are hobbies. Back then, they had hobbies like polo, jousting, fox hunts, hunts, the Olympics, etc.

However, back then, many people do not have time for hobbies, and even today many people don't have time for hobbies. They have to work the land, or carry water, or work hard hours for an employer. Yes, dragonfly, exactly like that man who comes to pick up the smoking orange things that humans leave on the ground. They had no chance at hobbies like philosophy, reading, writing, crafting, or mathematics. Yes, Ralph, I know you hate math, but Sir Issac Newton would disagree. Now stop poking that wasp's nest. Without these hobbies, the human race is unable to advance at it's maximum rate of growth.

On the other hand, today we have loads more time on our hands then we did hundreds of years ago, and more and more people are using it up with things like soap operas and other entertainment. Lucy, I know that you love the O.C., and I do too, but really, saying to your teacher that you didn't have time to study for your test because of it doesn't cut it in my book. And believe me, it's a good book.

What we need is a time like the Greeks had around 500 BC, a "golden age", where everyone was happy, so they came up with all sorts of cool stuff, like the Parthenon, and Polycleitus' sculptures, and philosophers like Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle! In that span of less that one hundred years, Greece made great leaps and bounds forward in many areas. Yes, thank you for demonstrating, frog. And they did so not out of necessity, or greed, or need for anything, they did so because they were striving to be all that they could be.

And that, is a truly noble thing. So next time you sit down at your computer, yes Ms. Ladybug, that means you, instead of blasting away at aliens, try creating something, like a blog to express your ideas, or maybe write a piece of philosophy, or maybe jsut get off the computer and start scribbling in a sketchbook!

Or, you could just get back to nature, not like we need to, and take a hike.

See you next time!

World Peace

Monday, October 22, 2007

Poetry Slam #2

This is the poem that I read at my school's second poetry slam. I hope that you like it!

The “T” Word

Have you ever realized how the world looks at teenagers?
Mouthy, Smart Alec, rude punks with too much money in their pockets and too much time on their hands
Too much time on their hands

I don’t know about you but I’m kind of the opposite
Opposite of the last one anyways
I flop around from one thing to the next so much that I’m surprised that I even have time to sleep
Sleep… that’s a beautiful word
Whoever invented that word should win the Nobel Prize for, “Services to Adolescents”
I mean, really, I bet I could ask if one of the three applied to you after school today and you’d say yes; Work, Homework, or Starbucks
And I use the term Starbucks loosely
You can replace it with hanging out with friends or Serious Coffee if you want

Kids these days don’t have any time to GET into trouble
If you’re like me, and you are, believe me, you think that life’s too short to pass up opportunities
Opportunities like a job
Opportunities like playing on the school soccer team
Opportunities like going out with hot guy/girl you like
Opportunities like being proud of the mark you got on that math test or English essay or Art Project
Opportunities like going to Mexico and making a difference in the lives of the underprivileged
Opportunities like performing onstage in the school musical
Opportunities like getting that Louis Vutton bag that you’ve wanted, like, forever

But if you’re like me, opportunity is synonymous with responsibility
Responsibilities like going to work and telling those old ladies, “Yes, I’m sure that it costs 3.99, and yes I’d LOVE to hand you off to my manager”
Responsibilities like practicing hard and playing in all the games you can
Responsibilities like finding out what that special someone digs in someone else
Responsibilities like studying until 2:42 am for that stupid essay that you know Mr. Jung is going to give you on the unit test
Responsibilities like raising money and preparing for that Mexico trip
Responsibilities like giving your all and showing up to those rehearsals Monday and Thursday after school
Responsibilities like paying your mom or dad back for that extra $80 they lent you to get that totally chic purse

And responsibilities you see, create stress
Some people have a life that shelters them against the worst parts
Stress equals tired equals downward spiral equals OH-MY-GOSH-HOW-CAN-IT-BE-8:20!
Equals late for school equals didn’t get all the lesson equals fail the next test equals dissapointment
Equals lapses in judgement
Equals Drugs
Equals Gangs
Equals Sex
Equals those parties that no good can come of
Equals mouthy, smart alec, rude punks with shaken up priorities that you don’t know a thing about,
So stop pretending that you’re the authority on all things juvenile

But don’t think that I’m excusing us from any of it
But we can change

What I’m saying is that this terror produced by, the “T” word has got to stop

World Peace

Sunday, October 21, 2007

I'm a historical lunatic!

I'm Charles the Mad. Sclooop.
Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

And you can be one too, just by clicking on the link above!

World Peace

Plato's Cave

Okay guys, this is my "cop out" post, in which I simply take something that I've already done for school and paste it into my blog. Sounds kind of like double dipping to me, but I think that it's fine, and it's my blog, so mines the only opinion that matters. But first, you guys need context for the essay. Here are a couple links:

Wikipedia's Article of Plato's Cave Allegory

The Complete Text from Plato's "The Republic"

I would suggest reading those first. Now, the question for the essay was to summarize the analogy and then write your thoughts on it. The overall objective was to show that you understood it, and to show what your ideas on it were. That said, ladies and gentlemen, I give you my essay on Plato's Cave.

“The Cave” Essay

Plato’s analogy of the cave tells us how the world we live in is a cave of shadows. We must break free from our perception of illusion and enlighten ourselves, after which we must return to become guardians of those who remain in the cave. “The Cave” is flawed in three ways. Firstly; it proposes the hypocritical idea that being enlightened gives us the right to rule over others. Second; it punishes those who have attained truth by shackling them to the world they sought to escape. Finally; it demeans the unaware society in the cave as being unfit to attain revelation.

Plato’s begins by hypothesizing that our society has been fettered from birth; forced to gaze upon and listen too the sounds and images in front of them they perceive to be reality. He then goes on to describe how, if freed, we would ascend to the exit, curious about what lay outside. We would be forced to wait until dark, he says, as the light outside of the cave would be incredibly bright and painful to one who has been earthbound for so long. Plato describes this as our education, and that the only way to avoid the pain of the light is to approach it in a certain way. Then, we can complete our ascension and appreciate the truth offered by what lies outside. After that, Plato assumes that it is our responsibility to return to the cave to lead others to the road of enlightenment. However, he describes our clumsy return to society, stumbling blind through the darkness after being on the outside for so long. The people left behind in the cave would think us drunken, babbling idiots, and would not trust us nor would they follow our lead. Therefore, he concludes, we must instead become their guardians, ruling over them and protecting them from themselves.

There are significant cracks to be found in Plato’s egg of reality. One of the most glaring is his idea that we should be guardians of society. If we are encouraging those who are in society break free of their reality, then would it not be a hypocritical to then direct their civilization? That is what Plato really means by becoming guardians of those who refuse to attempt the journey to enlightenment. The logic of this fact escapes me, and it would seem much more sensible to either convince them somehow to ascend to the truth, or to simply leave well enough alone. Second, he places an incredible burden on those who accomplish the challenge of ascending to the sun. He makes them return to the cave to become guardians for those who choose to remain ignorant. Certainly, there may be some bond between the free-thinking and their fellow man, but wouldn’t all they be doing is changing what shadows society sees cast on the wall? And in this case, it would be just as well for them to have never left the cave in search of something greater. They could live happily in ignorance, or become enlightened to all these ideas and have no one to share them with. Lastly, Plato also degrades those who are not the best of society as unworthy to attain enlightenment and rule. There is a grain of truth in this, as we look with cynicism at our neighbours to the south, yet there is no justice in his decision. The responsibility of the enlightened is to: Lay out the clear choice of, “red pill, blue pill” for the people in the cave, and then do whatever they can for those who seek enlightenment to guide them to the sun. Let it be up to the citizens of darkness to ask for one of them as a beacon of light to guide them.

To conclude, I agree with the fact that every one of us should strive for enlightenment so that we may create a better civilization. I do not agree with his notions of elitism or his inclinations of social Darwinism. Finally, I absolutely do not agree with his illogical idea that after questioning reality, we should impose it upon others. Plato’s largely unmolested egg looks good at face value, but upon closer inspection, one can see that it cracks just as easily as all the other attempts at a perfect society.

A Neglected Fettish

Well, I always did like oxymoronic titles. I have indeed missed publishing my thoughts on the universe online. I wonder if the outlet was good or bad for me. I wonder still if it was a good or bad use of my time.

What do you think of time "wasting"? Is it all wasted in vain? Could it be better spent catching up on sleep? Doing homework? Or is trying really hard to keep your eyes open while typing a healthy thing to do to yourself. I don't know. I don't know even if I'm thinking straight. Bugger those San Jose Sharks. Getting a shutout just when I started to do well in my hockey pool. Meh. I'll be back, as the Terminator likes to say.

Spewing forever. (How's that for an end quote?)

World Peace

Friday, June 15, 2007

A Poem

Jordan Ray

Sitting in school
A blue chair
A stuffy portable
Soaking up information like a dry sponge
Cultural Invasion

What in the world is that?
I listened as my teacher told us about
The fifty-third state
The historical adopting of traditions and culture
From the United States of America

The Pursuit of Happiness
Mr. Washington, we’ve got those already
We don’t need all the junk that come with yours

We don’t need
Your guns
Your money
Your politics
Or your reality T.V.!

We don’t need
Your, “Land of Opportunity”
That steals our brightest minds
Or your wars
That kill them for black gold

We want something we can call our own
Like Wayne Gretzky, the CN Tower, and Free Health Care
Like Vimy Ridge, Pierre Trudeau, and the Beaver
Like the Loonie, the Twoonie, and dare I say it, the Qu├ębecois!

We want something of our own
Because if we keep borrowing from you
Mr. Washington
We’re gonna be so far sunk into late fees
We’ll be working it off for the rest of our lives

I’m not saying it’s all bad
I enjoy my iPod, Windows, Canadian Idol and McDonalds
Just as much as the next person
Well, maybe not McDonalds
And why does Windows crash all the time anyway?

We are a nation.
A nation of peacekeepers
Whose lawyers drafted the UN declaration of Human Rights
A nation of prosperity
Whose bread basket fed the world in the Great War

We are a sovereign country
A sovereign country
That will decide for itself which wars are worth fighting
A sovereign country
That preserves freedom, not oil reserves!

Ladies and gentlemen, stand with me now.
Stand with me now!
Be proud of your identity, for you do have one
Be proud of your country, for it is unique!
Repeat after me!

I am Canadian!
(I am Canadian!)
Louder! I am Canadian!
(I am Canadian!)

Louder! I am Canadian!
(I am Canadian!)

World Peace

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Nothing is free of the Taint...

According to the foremost authorities (who shall, at this time, remain anonymous), nothing is perfectly clean. Everything is dirty. Nothing is not clean. Because nothing does not exist. ?!?!?!?!?!?!

No, really. Both physically, and mentally, nothing can ever be truly clean in our world. I say this to satisfy the religious beliefs of myself and other people who might read this. But let's keep on topic.

For example, right after you have a shower, you start sweating again, and that minuscule amount of bacteria that you left on your skin begins to grow and multiply, and after a few hours of blissful unawareness, you start to stink again. I won't make a pun here, 'cuz that would be way too cliche. Another example then. A carpet, car, or piece of furniture can never be truly clean, because right after it gets washed, the lingering molecules and dust motes that float around in the air settle on it, and then all the spores land on it and start to multiply. Slowly at first, then faster and faster as the growth rate expands exponentially.

Then there's the mental, "clean". I suppose that you are clean from the moment you are born, but at some point, the human instincts and desires take over and we succumb to whatever they dictate. In addition, society today is so saturated with things can can be classified as, "dirty", that it is impossible to remain clean forever, for just like the dust motes on the furniture, once washed, the inevitable will eventually grow again.

However, there are those small instants in between when we are clean, and our bodies are clean, and our carpets are clean. Those blissful moments, like when you smell that fresh, kind-of-like-plastic scent of clean carpet, and that breeze that you feel as your hair starts to dry. And that sense of accomplishment you get when you rid your mind of all impure thought and focus on the sublime.

Psssht. Tsch. Yeah, whatever.

Bad is here, and it's here to stay. It's up to us to keep washing, for those moments of clean carpet scent are what makes this life worth living.

World Peace

P.S. I'm sorry if I have grossed you out or disturbed you in some way. Maybe I should have put some kind of disclaimer at the beginning?

Sunday, June 3, 2007

But, what if they laugh at me?

My last post about the environment acquired a comment containing a point which I failed to consider. It also contained ideas for the subject of this post.

What I failed to consider in my post an the environment was that not everyone will recognize it or ratify it as a problem. If you don't or won't recognize something as a problem, then it's rather impossible to do anything about it. Three stages must be completed for something to be done about a problem.* First, the world must accept that there is a problem. Then, a plan of action must be formulated. Finally, someone or some group of people with the means to do so must have the courage to take action.

The third stage is indeed the hardest of all to complete. In today's culture, especially among teenagers, people fear taking action on their own beliefs and opinions for fear of being prosecuted for them. This was well illustrated by a Taylor Mali, a champion poet and teacher from Providence, Rhode Island. He recited a poem about how society has lost it's conviction for it's own beliefs, it being replaced by statements such as, "Not that I'm interested or anything, but I just sort of happened to kind of overhear this from something I wasn't really listening to..." which is followed by the statement of fact. We want to make sure that our opinion won't be frowned upon by others before we say it.

I wonder where this came from, this fear? Maybe it was World War II, when the Jews were slaughtered for their beliefs. Maybe it was when Christ was mocked on the cross for claiming to be the King of Kings and Son of GOD. Maybe it's the grating criticism slammed on those with opinions by the media.

Wherever this came from, it is affecting our society in a negative way. I don't know what can be done to change it.

I have, however, passed stage one.

I challenge you to complete stage two.

World Peace

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Give Your Head a Shake

Justin Trudeau, the recent winner of the Liberal Party nomination in the Quebec riding of Papineau, has become a profound interest of mine lately. According to what I have read on the various .coms, he was thrust into the spotlight after he delivered the eulogy at his father's funeral. A stirring, emotional address, accentuated by dignity and hope.

I also saw a speech delivered by Mr. Trudeau that spoke to the looming environmental crisis, and also to Canada's national and international identity. He spoke to the fact that when a person looks at a crisis and says to themselves, Oh, this is a major problem, but it's too big for me to deal with, they refuse to find within themselves the courage to challenge themselves to try harder and make the difference. He believes in order for Canadian citizens to remain on the high pedestal of democracy, diplomacy, and freedom, we have to make the principles first work for ourselves as individuals, then as a country.

I believe the same thing.

If you want to save the world, you can't just leave it in the hands of someone else. Chances are if you do, there are thousands of other people like you who also sit in front of the five o'clock news and say to themselves, Hmmm... gee, that sounds terrible. Well, I'm sure the government or somebody will come up with a plan of attack for this crisis. It's out of my hands. After all, I'm only one person. What can I do?

You'll have to forgive the excessive amount of cliche in that last paragraph, but it's the truth. If everyone leaves it to someone else, nothing will ever happen.

What will it take to make this crisis important in the minds of Canadians? The lowlands of India flooding? Manhattan sinking underneath a torrent of salt water? Another Ice Age?

Look at history. Britain and Canada didn't declare war on Germany until they invaded Belgium, allowing Hitler to acquire country after country. Then the war didn't stop until the United States dropped a couple of nukes on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Bush didn't act until 9/11. The Cold War didn't end until a few years after I was born.

At what cost? 6 million Jews died in the Holocaust. The atomic bombs of the United States killed more than 150 000 people. Around 25,000 American civilians dies in the World Trade Centre. More die in the middle east every day.

Do we want the one billion people of India to become homeless? Do we want to watch our towns and cities be swallowed by the sea? Do we want to endure another Ice Age?

Do you want to throw that receipt in the garbage? Wouldn't you rather toss it into the recycling bin in the other room?

Oh wait, I forgot. I'm just one person. What can I do?

World Peace

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Farm Chores and Griping

The other day when my parents made me do some more of the never ending chores that burden our lives, I got to thinking about one of the reasons that parents used to have children, particularly boys.

Families who live on farms in particular have a specific use for guys. Generally because of the manual labour that is required to run a farm, or even to run a household can be done more efficiently by men, simply because we are, in general, taller and stronger. So, we end up pitching the hay, stacking the bales, bringing in the firewood, carrying in the water, bringing up the groceries, helping to move furniture, and working to open cans for our parents and families.

Myself, not being particularly motivated at anytime to perform these simple, quick tasks, tend to do so with varying degrees of protestation. Now, you could say that this blog is simply another gripe session, which I will admit that it is, but it is also a reflection on what has become accepted and why it has been so accepted.

So guys: the next time you have to mow the lawn or take out the garbage, instead of moaning and groaning like some rusted contraption that hasn't been oiled for centuries, think of the ancient and proud tradition of manual labour that we continue to uphold. The way that things might be if those poor womenfolk did not have our long-limbed brawn to serve them.

Or you could continue your own tradition of complaining. I know I will still complain at least a little.

After all, why should I give up something that I'm so good at?

World Peace

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Monarchy

Recently (well, not recently, mor like 2 weeks ago now) I watched the movie, "The Queen". I was quite impressed with it, and it really brought forward issues about the monarchy relevant to present day.

What reason does the monarchy have to exist in modern day society? They take their copious spending budgets from the taxes paid by ordinary people, and do pretty much diddly-squat while sitting on a big cushy throne while wearing pretty, sparkly hats.

Consider also, the monarchy in Britain, as it compares to the Canadian similarity, is one that leaves the common people no choice at all in who or who is not their head of state, while in Canada, our Prime Minister, an elected representative of the Canadian people, chooses who our governor general is.

So why then, has the crown not been abolished? Or at least, changed into something that gives the people more choice in who their head of state is?

A couple reasons. And these are big ones, for they would have to be to affect something of this magnitude. The first is that, I for one, kind of like the idea of someone bigger than me, someone who is watching over us, protecting us. A semi-conservative point of view, but it's true. The fact that there is a person seemingly uninfluenced by powers outside them, who is ready to intervene appropriately when circumstances arise.

Second. The crown is an incorruptable symbol of justice and truth, a franchise that outshines the one that wears it. Someone who is the country, who is the people, who stands holding the flag up high for the entire world to see. A powerful voice of authority and principle. Citizens fell comforted in the fact that someone is their advocate to the world who doesn't have to listen to politicians or cave to pulic opinion.

This wise, just, and influential person will not be taken away without the wolrd trembling. People want to hold on to the crown, her power, and what she represents.

Besides, if there were no Queen, who would I get a letter from when I turn 100?

World Peace

P.S. I'd like to apologize to anyone (Dustin) who'd been reading my blog regularly, after which I simply stopped. Actually, no, I'm not really sorry. Just commenting. What I really meant was: TOUGH.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

War: What is it good for?

Throughout the ages past, war has been used in many different ways. Blood feuds, conquest, territorial disputes, religion, terrorism, policing actions, and politics. But, no matter how you swing it, war, for whatever purpose or motive, is not a good thing.

Certainly one can argue that, if Hitler had not been stopped in the 1940's, he would have taken over the world. And so, we go to defend our country, our way of life, and the world from evil. That doesn't take away the brutality and corruption that can result from conflicts as large as these.

There are examples in our past of wars that were negative in nature. The Vietnam War, a fine example of political tensions causing the deaths of thousands of people. The Cuban Missile Crisis, where the hatred between two superpowers nearly caused a nuclear holocaust. The Crusades, where religion was used as an excuse to gain an influential piece of territory in Israel.

War is a tool. Just like the gun, the law, technology, and the vote, war can be used either for good or for evil. Whether it be rebellion against an oppressor as we saw in World War II, or the same scenario where one man desired power above all else.

Regardless of it's use, war brings devastation, deprivation, and death.

World Peace

Monday, May 7, 2007

What is love?

Sometimes it's difficult to understand our feelings. Even more so to understand those of others.

I've recently, by circumstance, looked at relationships from my perspective, and the knowledge that I have. I think that it's a lot different looking in to a relationship from the outside than it is to be on the inside. You don't really know what to do, what to expect, and there aren't any set rules or guidelines for you to follow; no precedent. Because every pair of persons is different.

You ask them if you can buy them something, but they decline. Then they let you share what you bought with them. Confusing? Yes! Later, you think that something you share together may be unique, but in fact they share that with someone else. Perplexing? Definately. I didn't really know what all those guys on T.V. meant when they commented on how women were so fickle, and all the different signs about, does she like me, does she not.

I've been told that I could simply take the plunge. I'm getting two mixed signals from my heart. One tells me to lay my cards on the table. The other tells me to wait before I play my pair of aces.

My head hurts. I'm signing off.

World Peace

Sunday, May 6, 2007

The Hitlers; and the Rebels

What do you think about tyranny? Is it completely evil? What about authoritarianism? What's the difference?

There are cases in which authority is needed, and when it works. In emotional situations, for example, authority can be quite useful, such as a battle or in an operating room. When the stakes are high in situations like those, the one person or group of people who know what to do must take charge. When this does not happen, chaos and anarchy result, spawning feelings and actions of a negative sort.

Democracy too, is important. Some would say more important. Others would say less. The democratic sets the precedent by a group of people coming to a consensus, after which they empower individuals with the authority to enforce that precedent. if a squad of soldiers was required to have a vote every time a new situation arose, there would be many more dead soldiers.

Balance between the extremes of totalitarianism and libertarianism is important. People must have rights and freedoms, but they must also have responsibilities and obligations. For example; a citizen has the right to make decisions for themselves, such as voting for an elected representative. They also have the responsibility not abuse their rights, such as choosing to commit a crime. Without balance between these, there can be no civilization, and no progress.


World Peace

Saturday, May 5, 2007

What if...

Have you ever thought about what we take for granted? Or things that we might end up taking for granted in the future? Things that we have now, things we'll have then, things we had in the past that we couldn't even fathom in our current age.

For example, what if there was no electricity? What if Edison had never gone to all that trouble to invent the lightbulb, and all that? What if we weren't able to even conceptualize it? Would things be different? Would we have gone down an entirely new path in terms of energy transfer?

What if the Wright Brothers hadn't invented flight? What if the plane had never flown? Would we all still be using planes? Or something else?

What if there were no cars? No trucks? No bicycles? What if there were no wheels? Where would we be then? How would that change how we transport goods, people, services? Would it change how cities work? How the world works?

What if there were no guns? No bombs? No poison, weapons, or war? How would that change the way we fight war? Would we even be able to fight it? How would things change?

What if there were no languages? Would we all communicate in one language? Would we communicate at all? How? With what? Verbal? Gestures?

What if there were no religion? Nothing to believe in? What would people live for? Die for? Strive for?

What about politics, economics? What if politicians and money were non-existant?

What if you took away the world in it's entirety?

Would ther just be empty space? Nothingness? A void? Can you imagine that?

And if there was a beginnning, can you think of the why?

What if...

World Peace

Friday, May 4, 2007

ACK! All work and no play? Can't a guy get a break?

Yesterday left me much too busy to complete a post on my blog, my apologies to those who were sorely missing the daily updates in the life of me. So, I'll recap not just today, but yesterday too. If I can remember yesterday that is.

So. Yesterday, I ran through the usual routine of getting ready for, going to and attending school, after which the regularity ended at lunch. I auditioned for our school's talent show, with my Gollum impression. Needless to say (although, maybe it is for those of you who haven't heard my Gollumspeak yet), the judges were impressed, and I shall be performing my short but very sweet Gollum impression in front of the entire school later this month. Yikes! Anyway, the rest of the day passed without much event, except of course for Karate, for which I arrived late. Mmmhmmm. Oh yes, and I got a haircut from my mom. She did an awesome job, considering that the last time she cut my hair was... several years ago.

I did manage to get a really good snooze in, which will be a lot unlike tonight. 8 1/2 hours! Rock on! So, I got up in the morning feeling refreshed and restored, a feeling which was soon to be destroyed due to the fact that my mom hadn't packed my lunch. But I got to school on time, showed off my new "do", and got back that happy feeling I had before. Ummm... then I played cards at lunch, a classic high school game that is, among it's many other and some inappropriate aliases, known as, Garbage Man. It's kind of similar to hearts, with many invented differences. I also made a comment at the game without thinking about it beforehand, and it turned out kind of lewd-sounding. My ears turned red. More red than they have been in a long time.

After school, I walked home and got ready for work while relaxing. I got to work, and worked quite hard, after which I was timely rewarded by a ride home from s sympathetic co-worker. And the Ducks clinched the series with Vancouver in double overtime to boot! What more can I ask for? Besides being able to get more sleep. That's just shooting for the moon. I mean, come on! I survived on 6 hours of sleep or less while I was in Ottawa! Then after all that, I went for 36 1/2 hours without any sleep at all! I can take this!

Not for much longer anyway. TGIF now. I will get a good sleep this weekend, in between working at LD, working on the homework that seems to stab me in the back at the last minute, and having a ball & expending all my energy tomorrow volunteering at the Spring Fair! C'est la vie. Que sera, sera. Maybe I could squeeze in Spiderman 3 in there somewhere...


World Peace

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

She'll be Back. {A few minutes later in Terminator 3} She's back.

My sister has returned! I'm ecstatic! Elated! Extremely excited! Euphoric! Eh!

I'm so happy that those folks in Alberta finally gave me my sister back. You know that song, that says, you don't know whatcha got 'til it's gone? My feelings. Right there. Uh-huh. Yup.

On to the tedious business of chronicling my fascinating existence. Woke up at 7:00 am. Breakfasted. Walked to school. Watched a movie in Spanish class about Picasso. He was Spanish too. And famous. Did nothing of interest in English, 'cept find out that I wanted to re-write my distopia essay. Lunch was interesting, I helped a barbershop quartet rehearse, then watched Nick and his friends win at futsol. Drama, came up with my idea for Term 4 project. Chemistry, worked on a worksheet. Walked home.

When I got home, things picked up a bit. My friend Nick and I chatted with my sister about this and that, and I made my world famous Kraft Dinner for them. Then Nick left, Miranda and I chatted, and then I played on the computer until I had to go to work.

Work was... work. I stocked toilet paper, Kleenex, and Paper towels. Oh yay! We had the game on in computers and electronics, so I was able to bravely flaunt my loyalty to the Ducks in some more people's faces. Then they threatened to kill me. Meh.

I walked home, and it turns out that the Ducks won! 3-2 in 1st overtime! They lead the series 3-1! I'm so happy! JEAN-SEBASTIEN GIGUERE IS THE BEST GOALIE EVER!

Then my friend Nick came over again in the eleventh hour for math help. I gladly obliged. Now I'm tired, and I'm going to go to bed. I don't care if you think my writing was dry, wrinkled, or otherwise unsatisfying to your poor dry sponge of a brain. Or if it you thought it was good, then you must have nothing better to do. Or you're one of my adoring fans. Or... I don't know. I don't really think that you guys have dry sponges for brains. I love you all. Really. Really!

World Peace

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

A day with no work. So why am I so tired?

Mondays. Blegh. The start of a brand new school week. Oh joy.

Today I woke up at 7:00 am to the sounds of CBC, just like always, then arose at 7:40 am. School was great, as I had very no homework from English, none from Spanish, none from leadership, none from chemistry, and none from Drama! You can't beat that. So, I came home after a brief meeting after school, watched M.A.S.H. (I love that show), and played on the computer for a couple hours. Then, it was Karate time, at which the source of my tiredness now was produced. (Grammar? Whatever...)

So, we did kicking practise at Karate. Lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of kicking practise. 1,5 hours straight kicking practise. Very tiring.

Got home, now I'm writing my blog. Just like always. Oh boy.





Needless to say, I've very excited.

This is the not-so-aged and not-yet-venerable Jordan Ray, saying good night, and don't put an egg under your pillow.

World Peace

Monday, April 30, 2007

Brunch at Best Western

I hate mornings. With a passion.

Actually, it's just the getting up part that I hate. Once I'm up and at 'em, I love mornings. You can get so much done before 12:00 pm if you get up at 5:00 am!

Why would I do such a crazy thing? Because I, Jordan Ray, went over to Vancouver today to have a very fancy, and slightly overpriced brunch buffet at the Best Western hotel in Richmond. The brunch (dang it, I keep wanting to say breakfast instead of brunch) being at 11:00 am in a Vancouver location, required my family and I to leave our house at 6:00 am to catch the 7:00 ferry so we could get an 9:15bus for a 9:45 transfer to let us arrive at the hotel 1 hour early at precisely 10:02 am, PDT. Phew! This of course, left us ample time to chat before, during, and after brunch, which was absolutely scrumdidilyumpcious. (that word is copyrighted, you have to pay me or one of my family members every time you say it.)

Those present at the bunch were: (in no particular order) Myself, my mom, dad, Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt Angela, Aunt Sue, and Uncle Sean. We all had a splendid time chatting it up in the lovely Vancouver sun (pardon the pun please), and I actually managed to finish my homework, which was quite arduous of a task. (Grammar?)

Then we headed home on the 4:00 pm ferry from Tsawwassen back to Swartz Bay, and immediately after we got home, we turned on the Vancouver-Anaheim hockey game.

Normally, I would have tried to go to someones house and watch it, but my parents took so long at the grocery store, having, "Quite a discussion about which meat we should barbecue" as they called it, prevented me from doing so. Oh well. Worse things have happened. Like me breaking my ankle. That was pretty bad too.

Anyways, I've forgiven them (but never forgotten, mwahahaha!), and after helping my friend with his math after my supper, here I sit, pressing these funny little black keys and giving squeaks of joy as words pop up on the screen.

I eagerly await Tuesday, upon the eve of which my beloved sister Miranda shall return. (That's not from the Tempest, my sister's name really is Miranda.)

World Peace

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Moving Crew and Late Night Panic

This morning I got up bright and early (9:30 am) to help my friends dad move into his new place at 10:30 am. This proved quite exciting, with my friend and I riding on top of a mattress and a cabinet, unseatbelted in the back, pressed against the van roof. Good times.

After the gruntwork and life flashing before our eyes, my friend and I returned to my house, so I could help him with his math, have lunch, and get in a bit of computer time before I had to go to work.

That finished, I ate a hastily prepared supper, spilling milk on myself, the table, and the carpet in the process, and I then got a much needed and appreciated ride to work.

There wasn't a lot that went on at the London Drugs where I work (Quadra & Mckenzie), except for the last 15 minutes of my shift. We have a conveyor belt to haul up our products from the basement. One of the boxes that was left on the belt was an opened box of PERT shampoo. Somehow, I think probably by my doing, the box was knocked over, with the containers scattering everywhere, and one falling straight down to the concrete floor. I performed clean-up duty in the precious few minutes I had left in my shift. As a result, my hands smell great as I'm typing to you now.

Then I got a ride home too, getting home just after 10:00 pm. What luck, eh?

World Peace

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Get Jiggy with the Ducks

Naslund scored. That's about the only part that leaves me happy about the Cannucks winning the hockey game tonight in 2nd overtime.

But first. (Stealing line from the CBC broadcaster I listen to every week morning,)

Today left me waking up late after communicating with many numerous and fawning fans last night. That's okay, I still ended up getting to school on time. After my friend and I got lucky being picked up by one of my kind hearted teachers who happened to be going the same way. Just lucky I guess.

In English, listened to an interesting version of Macbeth by a radio play brought in by my teacher. Then in Spanish, found out that I have a whole bunch of little assignments that need to be handed in. Lunch was good, except for the fact that I didn't eat. Chemistry did not prove too trying, with little homework, and then Drama was relatively painless as well.

Rushing out of school, I headed downtown to grab a bite and then go to my volunteer job at the constituency office for Victoria. My supervisor (I guess) gave me some questions by constituents to research, and I'd also brought in some problems that a friend of mine from my church was having. After digging up some data, and making the world better by helping one person at a time, I went to Starbucks to get a Green Tea Latte (love this stuff, you should try it), but then I had to toss it when the bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus. C'est la vie.

Got home, watched some M.A.S.H., finished my Subway lunch as dinner, and then headed over to my friends house to watch the second game in the Anaheim vs. Vancouver series. I have a particular interest in hockey these days, as I have a small sum of money riding on some of the players. My friends and I had a season pool that I joined, knowing nothing in that fateful October. Come April and several loonies in trades later, I've won the over $20 pot. Saa-weeet. Now I've joined the playoff pool, and I'm in dead last. Figures.

The game was a really good one, with both teams scoring a goal apiece during regulation time, and then Jeff Cowan scored the winner in second overtime, just sneaking a random shot through my beloved J.S. Giguere's five-hole (between the legs and above the stick). Although, he (Giguere) did make 49 saves, and get a 96% save percentage for the night, so I'm still proud of him. Besides, since he lost in overtime, that means I can get more points out of him in my hockey pool. On the other hand, if he gets a shut-out...

Anyways, enough hockey talk. With the game done, I trucked back home at around ten after twelve, and now, here I am, beating my fingers against this queer plastic and electronic contraption, for reasons that have yet to be determined. Kind of like my psycho-analysis results. Huh.

World Peace

Friday, April 27, 2007

Man of the Year

Good evening folks, Jordan here with the Thursday evening special edition. Today in news, nothing remotely earthshaking, shattering, or above 3.9 on the Richter Scale.

8:30 am marks the beginning of the school day, and with relatively uneventful classes, we're moving on. For weather, a light, warm drizzle makes walking home less bearable than yesterday. Oh well, that's life.

We interrupt this broadcast to give you an update on traffic. The parking lot by BC Hydro was considered off-limits today, as the future Prime Minister was taking a driving lesson there. Look out on them streets.

Thanks folks, and that's the news. I'll turn it over to my colleague Anoni now from our political department.

Thanks Jordan. Hello folks, today I'd like to talk about a recent film I watched starring Robin Williams, called Man of the Year. A comedy/drama, it comments on politicians and their political parties.

To surmise, Williams plays a political commentator much like John Stewart or Stephen Colbert, who decides to go on a whim from an audience suggestion and run for president. During his campaign, he shakes the foundations of all common political traditions by making fun of the Republicans, the Democrats, and the way they run their governments. By a glitch in the new computerized voting system, he wins the election. However, when he finds this out, he puts it out there and steps down, saying that he was not fairly elected.

If you have a chance, I would highly recommend seeing it, not only for the comic genius of Robin Williams, but for the message and statement that the film makes about politics in America, and maybe even in the "Western" world.

Thank you for listening folks, I'm Anoni Mousse, signing off.

World Peace

Thursday, April 26, 2007

John Cleese and Elizabethan Inspiration

Another day in the life of myself. Random thoughts, spontaneous ideas, tedious/interesting school, and overall, not a bad life.

Those of you reading the title to my blog, and wondering, "REAHUH?" (Tim Allen sound from Home Improvement) the title comes from one of my favorite Monty Python sketches with John Cleese and Michael Palin. You can see them perform it on YouTube: . Out of context, the keeper of a petshop has passed off a stuffed parrot as a real one, and is arguing that, "It's not dead, it's restin'!". One of the better exchanges (in my oh-so-humble opinion) goes like this:

Cleese: ...I took the liberty of examining that parrot, and discovered that the only reason it'd been standing on the perch in the first place was that it'd been nailed there.

Palin: Well of course it was nailed there! Otherwise, it would've muzzled up to those bars, and VOOM!

Cleese: (hold up parrot) Look, matey. This parrot wouldn't voom if I put four thousand volts through it. It's bleedin' demised!

(Boisterous Applause, as my good friend would say.)

Hence, the title of the blog.

Anyway, on with the record keeping. I went to school today (gasp!) and had a lovely first block acting and analyzing the Shakespearian classic, Macbeth. Then, we had a random fiesta in Spanish, and I brought a hastily made dish of Aiola, which is essentially minced garlic in mayonese, used as a dipping sauce for stuff like potatoes, croutons, and shrimpish-type things. No big events in third or fourth block.

In the evening, I tried my best to follow the Cannucks vs. Anaheim series (on radio and internet, I don't have cable) while working on my creative presentation for English (a poem I'm writing on the book 1984, in which I'm using Iambic Pentameter, hence the title of today's post), which I'm very interested in, being that my favorite player is on Anaheim (J.S. Giguere, #35, G), and Vancouver is pretty much my favorite team, as it's local for me. Anaheim wins 5-1! YES! WOOT! WE MUST NOW DO THE DANCE FOR JOY!

On second thought, let's not, and say we did.

World Peace