Friday, November 30, 2007

Duck ponders... poetically


By Jordan Ray

I look into the computer screen

I see


They stare back at me

And ask, what are you afraid of?

I don’t know

Or, rather, I’m afraid of what I don’t know

I’m afraid of the future

What I might do

What I might become

What I might be able to be

Because I have the drive, the will, the passion the determination and the brains to do whatever I want.

And I know what I want.

Or do I?

Do I really know what I want?

Can you ever really know what you want?

I think I want to be Prime Minister

No, that’s reaching too far, I’ll just settle for being a politician.

No, that’s still too far, what if I don’t make it and I get hurt?

Maybe I’ll just settle for being a judge.

No, that’s kind of a lot of responsibility and what do I know about right and wrong?

I could try to be a lawyer

I could spend 8 years of my life going to school just to eventually become one of those corrupt people that I always hear everyone slander and heap hate upon.

I could become a teacher

And be responsible for the education of thirty kids in a classroom, and dealing with their angry parents.

I could become a retail salesmen

Always pressured by my boss to do better, to work more hours, to know about our product, to stop watching the damn T.V. and get back to making the shelves look nice.

Or I could be a teacher

And be part of hundreds of kids lives, moulding them and shaping them to be whatever the want to be.

Or I could be a lawyer

Fighting in the legal system for people who’ve seen better days and standing up for what I believe in.

Or I could be a judge

Dispensing justice and fairness like no one else can because I know what I believe is right.

Or I could be a politician

Fighting the big fight, representing those who have no one else, and being a part of the change I want to see in the world.

Or I could be Prime Minister

And shape an entire country with my vision to make the world a better place.

But, to you pixels

That’s what I’m afraid of.

I don’t know what I want to be.

But I know that I can be anything.

And you have no idea how scary that is.

World Peace


Anonymous said...

I really do know how scary that is, I fell that way too.

Miranda* said...

I hear ya, brother.

~Julia said...

... that is the most eloquent ‘ponder’, as you put it, that I have ever read. No joke. ….I don’t really even know what to say to build on what has been said…I’ve been trying to figure that out since I read your post on last Sunday.

The only thing I’ve really come up with is that when I was feeling all this, I would do what you’ve done and write it all out and try/do what I thought was right. And after that go with my gut feeling – we have to make mistakes, which is probably what scares us the most.

You say that you don’t know what you want to be but it is in front of you – at least to some degree – you generally seem to want to be in law. Although, you’re right, the worst part is when people say, “don’t worry you can be anything.” Makes me wish I were only good at one thing so I’d know I was doing the ‘right thing’. Well…I’ve dithered enough… I look forward to the next Duck Ponder. ^^

J-Ray said...

Ho rah to ya'll.

Stay tuned.