I hope that you enjoy my rants.
June 02, 2008
The United States top Marine in Afghanistan said yesterday that he had been grateful for the military support of Canadian troops. Unsure of what exactly the Americans needed help on, sources suspect that Canadians helped them find the English instructions inside for their weapons, even though American has only one regular language. Personally I differ on this point of thought, because it's my bet that the Canadian troops practically threw themselves at the Americans to "help them with their fresh weapons, just to get a chance to use something that isn't thirty years hold. When asked if they would share, the Americans were delighted to skip off to the shooting range and show off what exactly a $1.3 trillion dollar defense budget buys.
June 04, 2008
Well the American Democratic nomination race still isn't over. Even now that Senator Barack Obama has thirty-eight more delegates than he needs to win the nomination, he's still only the "projected nominee".
Projected nominee? Give me a break! This race has been going on longer than some wars! And in this contest, less has been gained! Since the beginning of the campaign in 2006, Obama has earned at the supposed endgame 230 more delegates and super-delegates than CLinton. But it's still not over, because there's still the democratic convention, where not only the super-delegates but also the regular delegates are allowed to change their minds!
I know American politics is supposed to have twists, but this is ridiculous. It's like reality TV on steroids. I mean if I want to watch CSI, I'll watch CSI. But, it looks like the world is still more concerned about sensationalism than it is about good government. Okay, granted, Barack has basically clinched the nomination. But now he's got an even tougher job ahead of him with the presidential campaign set to bein... well, a couple weeks ago. So get your game face on Obama: 18 months down, 5 to go.
June 05, 2008
Well the Stanley CUp Finals are finally over with the Detroit Red Wings as the victors. I really wanted the Pittsburgh Penguins to win, but no, two of the best players in the game, one of the best goalies in the game and a fantastic rent-a-player to boot weren't enough to get past the stifling defense and fantastic offense shown by the guys from hockey town.
Now, many of you may have no idea what I'm talking about. You'r saying to yourselves right now, Stanley Cup? Isn't that like a big sports trophy or something? Shame. Shame on you ignorant people who call yourselves Canadians. I don't even know why I'm showing you the grace of telling you a few details in the first place.
You know, it's hard enough to hold onto our identity already with the Americans trying to push theirs on us all the time. But if you don't even watch hockey? That's like rolling over and saying to the Americans, "Why don't you buy Tim Hortons from us?". Oh wait, they already did that. With things that we can call Canadian being bought up faster than we can make them, it's not always a great thing to be loved by every rich guy in the world. We've got to stand-up for ourselves.
So next time a hockey game is on while you're flicking through channels, watch a few minutes of it and look up some of the players on Google. Because it's either that, or boycott Timmy's.
June 06, 2008
Toyota today announced a new fuel cell powered vehicle. Some experts suspect that it'll be just like the Delorian from Back to the Future, just drop in a banana peel and you're good to go. But according to Toyota, it's powered by hydrogen. That's a relief, because I can get hydrogen way more easily than food or gas, right? Oh what's that I'm sorry? The commercially consumable hydrogen cell hasn't been invented yet? So then why is Toyota making cars that run on something that doesn't exist!
It's marathon runner, "Hey, we've got this great new thirst quencher that is amazing for long distance, it's healthier for you and comes in pink." Then the marathon runner gets to the drink station, and surprise! "Oh, we don't actually have any here. You didn't bring along anything of your own? Sorry! Good Luck!"
The poor marathon runner is taken away by ambulance at the twenty mile marker due to dehydration. But at least he could have tried the new drink if it did exist.